I used to think memoir consists of three things: (1) writing, (2) in the first person, (3) about a thin slice of a person’s life. “The reader doesn’t want the whole iceberg, just the tip,” to paraphrase Russell Baker.

Now I realize memoir is much broader. First of all, you have a lot of other objectives–besides the act of writing itself–when you create memoirs. You want to: 

• record family stories
• research family history
• find lost relatives
• socialize with lost relatives once you've found them
• discover your DNA
• collect and preserve family data
• get over something traumatic
• tell the story behind a family memento
• create personal documents (video, audio, shadow boxes, etc.)
• get rid of something heavy which you've been carrying around (secret, imposition, demand)
• catalogue, organize, and archive family documents, photos, and memorabilia
• take the sting out of something painful
• save and identify family heirlooms
• capture family information that would otherwise be lost.

I now have a working definition of memoir which is much more broad. Memoir is the communication of what you want to remember and what you want to be remembered. Which leads me to two more points. First, you can get really creative and use any of the following as the basis of a memoir:  

• letters you quote
• recipes
• random memories
• your hopes for the future
• a secret you no longer want to keep
• family sayings
• something that always got on your last nerve
• a mystery you never figured out
• funny family anecdotes
• what you want your legacy to be
• describing what’s going on in an iconic family photo
• a list of your favorite things and why
• describing how you got around a long time ago
• how a business used to make money
• your worst vacation
• how you kept the house cool in the summer
• the most expensive thing you ever bought
• a portrait of a relative using your five senses (see, hear, feel, taste, smell).

Second point. You don’t have to write at all. Lots of your "stuff" can be turned into a memoir:    

• Photographs
• Video
• Audio
• What things cost
• Collages
• Political buttons and pins
• Jewelry
• Fabrics
• A telephone bill
• “Shrines” you create
• Scrapbooks
• Songs
• Guns
• Music
• Portraits
• Paintings
• Statues
• Pottery
• Drawings
• Furniture
• Clothing
• Games
• Puzzles
• Tools
• Maps
• Drawings
• Self-portraits

Even a packing list from 50 years ago could be the basis for a great memoir. So, I ask you:

• What do you want to remember?
• What do you want others to remember?

Tell me about the memoir you create. Send me a photo.

Abraham Verghese recommended in yesterday’s Five Best in The Wall Street Journal five of his favorite books by physicians, including two memoirs. Adventures in Two Worlds is A. J. Cronin’s memoir about being a young physician in a Welsh mining town. The Puzzle People by Thomas E. Starzl is the memoir of the pioneer transplantation surgeon.

The same thing is true when you write a memoir about a place that no longer exists. What is the transaction between you and the place? What is its pull? What memories do you bring? What is the real place like now? Who used to live there? Who lives there now? What is still there? What is gone?

Barbara Krasner visited her grandmother’s ancestral home, Ostrów Mazowiecka (Ostrova in Yiddish) in Poland while she was doing research for a young adult novel that takes place in nearby or Zaromb (Yiddish). Her 30-photo exhibit of these Jewish communities which no longer exist, “My Home Is Gone—Remnants of Jewish Poland,” will be shown at the JCC of Metrowest in West Orange, New Jersey September 12-October 31, 2010.

What is the pull of a place that no longer exists? How do you write about it? Let me know.

I once found a photo tucked inside a book at an estate sale. The photo showed a Model T in ruins, destroyed by what looked like a head-on collision. The photo jumped out at me. I took it the man, about my age, who was running the garage sale. His mother had just died and he was selling the contents of her house. I handed him the photo. “This looks important,” I said.

He stood transfixed, staring at the photo. “Mother told us about that crash. Both she and Dad survived it. But I never knew if the story was true.”

My mother-in-law, Maxine (Shanbar) Marshall, has an iconic memoir photo. Her photo shows an apartment building (not hers) being moved from its location near Poplar Street in Chelsea, Massachusetts. The reason? The construction of The Mystic River Bridge (now the Tobin Memorial Bridge).

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Why not make your memoir writing easier? Why not organize it around an iconic photo?

Tom Jewett, my younger brother, builds and flies airplanes. Tom is a lifelong aviation expert-amateur. When he was a little boy, he told Mother he wanted to learn how to read in order to build model airplanes. He went on to earn an aeronautical engineering degree from Purdue. In the photo above, he’s at Centennial Airport in Colorado, showing off the upgrades he recently completed in his Long EZ. Tom has an April birthday. On his birthday, he always has Ton Cake, his favorite. Here is Tom’s recipe memoir about Ton Cake:

Ton Cake Recipe Memoir by Tom Jewett

Our friend Julie from Cedar Grove, New Jersey, got stuck when she was writing a family memoir about her mother.  Julie wanted to include her “bits and pieces”— her random memories about her mother. But she felt they wouldn’t be as good as the rest of her memoir, which was structured chronologically. She quit.

Beginning memoir writers often get stuck at this point. They want to write about material that is unconnected or unrelated, but don’t know how. Memoir Writing Technique #1 enables you to write coherently about unrelated items, such as: random memories, fun you had, childhood memories, collections of family sayings. We like to compare the random “bits and pieces” to pearls. The key to making a beautiful necklace is how you string the pearls together. 

Step One–Write and Organize the Bits

Write down the memory bits. Don’t worry about the order.  Then, group the bits into segments or sections by theme. For example: Let’s say you want your memoir topic to be about sayings you heard growing up.  Write them down in no particular order, as they come to mind. Then, categorize the sayings into segments or sections, for example:

• funny things your Uncle Bill always said—that’s one segment or section
• something a gas station attendant said to your mom which became part of the family lore—that’s a segment or sections
• Acronyms your dad quoted all the time because he had been in the Navy—that’s a segment or section

Lastly:

• Something your football coach lived by and which you adopted—that’s a segment or section

 These segments or sections will become paragraphs or parts of paragraphs, depending on how long they are. Note: if your bits and pieces are too short to turn into sections or segments, simply put them in a bulleted list. 

Step Two–Write an Introduction

The introduction must tell your readers what the memoir is about and must signal to the reader how the memoir is structured.  

Here’s how you do that. Look at all the segments or sections you’ve just created. Write an introductory sentence that is broad enough to encompass all of them. For example:

“These are the family sayings I heard growing up.”

“Here is everything I remember about living in Utica, New York, in no particular order.”

Step Three–Insert Transitions

Step three is to insert transition sentences between the sections or segments, as necessary. Transition sentences are like the string in a necklace. The string turns the separate pearls into a work of art. Transition sentences or phrases give the reader a heads-up about the structure you are using and provide coherence. Here are examples of  how transition sentences would start:

• “Another thing that happened was…”
• “Another time”
• “In addition,”
• “Also”
• “There is also”
• “He also said”
• “Nothing else meant more to me than…”
• “I don’t remember much more except”

Step Four: Re-Read and Edit 

Read through your memoir. Check whether your introduction is broad enough to cover all the segments or sections in your memoir. Check whether the transitions add the right amount of coherence.  Read it aloud to yourself. Ask a friend to read it. What you are checking is: will my audience be able to see the structure? Have I provided enough transition sentences? Is my overall topic clear? Bear in mind that someone reading this in the future may not know you, or anything about you.

Our Memoir Writing Technique #1 enables you to write a professional-quality memoir about unrelated or loosely related bits and pieces.

Let us know how your memoir turns out. Write to us at writeyourmemoir.com

Lucinda Mock’s Ginger Cookie Recipe by Martha Jewett

Take a look and get some ideas. Let me know how your recipe memoir works out.

Helen Jewett’s Quick Chocolate Cookies by Martha Jewett

Memoirs come in all shapes and sizes. Danny Gregory’s Everyday Matters: A Memoir is a graphic memoir (a memoir told in pictures and words). Danny and his wife, Patti, were happily married and had a 10-month-old son when Patti fell under a subway train and was paralyzed from the waist down.

Everday Matters is a picture-chronicle of Danny’s transformation after Patti’s accident. He realizes he needs to slow down. He teaches himself to draw, and in doing so finds himself looking at the world anew. “You sit and stare at something long enough, and it starts to come to life.” Most people draw badly, he says, because they draw symbols, not what they really see. How could he have missed so much of what was all around him?

Who among us has not had that feeling?

This memoir is a lifetime of eye-opening in just 120 pages. If you’ve ever felt sorry for yourself, if you know someone who is handicapped, if you’ve ever tried to draw or paint, or even if you just love New York City, you must buy this book.

Wake up. What do you really see?

Let me know.

Danny Gregory is the author of several books, including The Creative License. His illustrated journal is read daily by thousands on Dannygregory.com. He lives in New York City with his wife and son.

Even though my parents and grandparents were born and raised in Kansas, they never mentioned the Orphan Trains. In the years between 1854 and 1929, The Children’s Aid Society and the New York Foundling Hospital developed a program whereby up to an estimated 200,000 orphaned, abandoned, or homeless children—mainly in New York City and Boston—traveled by train to adoptive homes in 47 of the 48 states then comprising the United States. The children came to be known as “Orphan Train Riders.”

In Fly Little Bird, Fly! Donna Nordmark Aviles tells the true story of her grandfather Oliver’s early life as an orphan in New York City.  Fly Little Bird, Fly! won the National Best Books 2009 Award.

In Beyond the Orphan Train, Donna Nordmark Aviles describes her grandfather’s life as an Orphan Train Rider. Beyond the Orphan Train won the National Best Books 2009 Award.

Aviles’ third book, Peanut Butter for Cupcakes, focuses on Oliver as an adult. The story describes how he survived with his six children during the 1930s, after the sudden and tragic death of his young wife, Estella. Peanut Butter for Cupcakes was a 2009 Next Generation Indie Book Award Finalist and National Best Books 2009 Award Finalist.

Orphan Train Riders were told not to talk about their past lives. Their collective experiences disappeared from consciousness. Gradually, however, their descendants began to unearth and honor their past.  There is now a museum dedicated to the Orphan Train children, The National Orphan Train Complex, Inc., located in Concordia, Kansas.

Was someone in your family a part of history? Have you asked questions about what happened? Friday, November 27, 2009, is StoryCorps’ National Day of Listening. Its goal is to encourage you to take an hour and record a conversation with someone who is important to you. Why not set aside some time over Thanksgiving to ask, first, whether your loved one played a part in history? If so, what was it like? Were they in a war? Were they dislocated in a natural disaster? Did they take part in protests? Did they witness a famous event?

Let me know how it goes. What questions did you ask?

Happy Thanksgiving!